Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Detroit Petanque Club Player Analysis by Kevin C.

Kevin C. offered up useful hints and tips about his fellow club members. Perhaps we can expand on this to create a humorous database for exploitation:
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Here's my analysis of a few of our players:

Jeff: Jeff can out point his opponent about 85% percent of the time. He can also consistently shoot out any Boule from approximately 25' and closer. His strength is his versatility in his game and consistent and dominant play. Most opponents are afraid when he's in the orange circle. His weakness tends to be when the cochonnet is greater than 30'. But even if you try for distance to trap him, you're guaranteed nothing.

Andonian: "The Bully" - Not only is PA a pretty good pointer, but he's excellent at shooting out Boules. He is afraid of nothing and that tenacity transcends to his game. If you leave the field open to point, PA will point on your ass, and you might cry later. He's also known to take a great player out of his game by talking shit, therefore making him a strong two-dimensional player. It takes strong skill and a focused brain to beat PA. His weakness is himself. Only PA can beat PA.

Mikey "King Cobra" - Although somewhat challenged, the Cobra has an excellent ability to point. Shooting is completely out of his game. His release is consistent just about every time which allows him to be very accurate when PA is not harassing him. If PA is harassing him, his game is over and he might as well catch the early bus home.

Tim: Strongly resembles Bill Murray from the movie Kingpin when his hair is being wisped away by the wind (click on link). Tim is a multi-tasker. He can typically be seen playing petanque while eating a bologna sandwich that his wife made, a bag of pretzels, and maybe a juice box while simultaneously throwing a Boule. He is also coordinating office moves on his cell phone when it is not his turn to throw. Sounds good for a resume, not so much for petanque. He loves the way the breeze flows through his hair and the smell of the outside more than anything, even petanque.

Aaron: "Inconsistency Personified" When he shows up, you might as well flip a coin to see which game he's brought with him. Some days he can put one boule right on top of another with frightening precision, and others, he just can't get one less than 4 feet from the cochonnet. Also notable for his variable clothing style, which runs from business attire to hippie-styled outfits.

Feel free to add your own opinions

1 comment:

Mac said...

Aaron: "Inconsistency Personified" When he shows up, you might as well flip a coin to see which game he's brought with him. Some days he can put one boule right on top of another with frightening precision, and others, he just can't get one less than 4 feet from the cochonnet. Also notable for his variable clothing style, which runs from business attire to hippie-styled outfits.